Monday, July 28, 2008
Sick Sick Sick. That how i am feeling now. Cough the whole day, irritated by the itchiness of my throat, constant sneeze despite my nose and ear seem to be stuffed and worst more, I vomited out my dinner. Feeling uncomfortable and kind of hungry now. Popped a few pills into my mouth and waiting for the medicine to work wonder.
Long day for me as the illness made me feel lethargic and have drain my energy completely. Slept for half and hour just before dinner and was blur during dinner. Ate a small portion for dinner as compare to normal day and well, what goes in had came out.
Hope i will be well tomorrow and be totally recovered for Wednesday for the dinner. The theme for last dinner was bollywood and this time it is Chinese/ hongkong style! I borrow a Chinese type of top from my dad and will be wearing it on wednesday! I think i might look very weird in it and really can't imagine wearing it at Changi Village! Imagine everyone in C.V. who is concentrating on picking the best gay in sight change their view by looking at us walking out of the hotel, COS PLAY!
Damn It! My phone is sick too, just like the owner. I am unable to send message out of the phone but can receive the message! Sony Ericson's service centre, here I come!
Charged my PSP, pack my cup noodle and medicine. Getting ready for another day to arrive.
it's you and me <3
6:14 AM
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Been a very long time since i updated my blog. My life seem to remain as empty as it is one month ago but i am trying very very hard to get use to it as it seem to be the only solution to my emptiness. I know that we do not just live for love as there are more things in life we can be living for but I just can't let it go. Not easy but i will try, I promise.
Working non-stop for the whole month and will have the same schedule for the very next month. Sales have been bad for me as i almost didn't make it to the 65% mark which will make my pathetic commission to be even more pathetic. First time in my 1 year of work and hope this will be the only time in my whole working life in lancome. Rui Ting (my senior, my friend's cousin) just join the company as a part timer. Her mom have been asking her to work in order for her to gain more experience beyond her comfort zone. Heard that she have a hard time trying to remember her product knowledge and trying to get use to her heels.
Heard about her bad experience on her very first day, so bad till some experience part-timer receive a scolding for the customer and giving wrong information to customer. I gave the wrong information to customer too and well happy to say that i am still surviving in the company so DON'T WORRY Rui Ting.
Went to Meiji and bought 42 dollar worth of chocolate and snacks(",), bought my mum a facial cleanser for 33 dollar (after 40% discount), 10 dollar for my cigarette, 20 dollar for yesterday night supper with family, 19.80 dollar for the cab i took to work today, 10 dollar for dinner today with family again. And therefore, i hereby declare that i am going to be bankrupt soon. Bless me!
Sad to say that my dear friend (Hui Ee) is joining me to the single club! She have just broke up! Sad and happy for her after hearing the reason why her relationship does not workout. Sad Sad! Well, look at the bright side of life (crap!) and do not give up the whole forest because of one tree (lame shit!) and ...(please fill up with all other type of crap you can tell a person who is heart broken!). All i can say is wish you all the best in trying to get use to the emptiness and well, be able to attract someone soon!
3 weeks more to end my attachment, 2 more day before my company dinner on Wednesday (can see gay too!!) and my pay day which also fall on the 30th this month! Love it... It will even be better if my grandma can quicky recover and be discharge. She is in there like almost a month and operation is still not being done. God! bless her okay??! Travelling from home till the hospital is draining my mum and dad time and energy. Sian!
it's you and me <3
7:37 AM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Fail! That what i have gotten for my TP. Fuck! Having kind of bad headache for the day and the amount of medicated oil i use (yes i still use that as i think it is very useful!) is able to fill almost a quarter of a bottle.
Mount the kerb for 2 time and have a total of 36 points deducted. To think that i never ever mount the stupid kerb for so many time when i pass through it for more than 10 time during my training session. And the first kerb i mounted was the 3 item i did in the circuit. Well, the next test date will be on 20/09/08 so wish me luck okay?
Receive good luck message from my cousins and my friends in the morning. Receive phone call from my relatives and friends when i ended my test. Still waiting for the very person to ask me, waiting for her to console me. Chances are slim but hope that this miracle will happen!
Meeting Sheng Long and Phoebe later at Clarke Quay for drinking session later. Hope it will be fun!
Alvin, it's time for you to cheer up and be strong. Back to your old self, leave the memories and be back into the reality.
July seem to be fucking terrible for me. 3 major blow for me. What next? Me being knock down by a car or me being strike by lightning? Well, let see the remaining 14 days.
Damn it!
it's you and me <3
2:55 AM
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Have been yawning since i step out of my house early in the morning, luckily my father fetch me to Jurong East Interchange for me to take my company transport to work. Initially he wanted to send me straight to my company as he was afraid that he will not be able to reach Jurong East on time. After some physco session from me, he decided to let me alight at Jurong East before sending my sister to her office. The reason why I physco my dad was I need to smoke! It seem to be part of my morning habit. 1 stick for the journey from my house to the LRT station and 1 stick while waiting for Daren.
Have not been sleeping for the past few days. 2-3 hours average but luckily I manage to sleep at least 4 hours for yesterday sleep (FINALLY). But I am still feeling weak. Just went to the clinic after my tuition session with my cousin and gotten 1 day MC. Viral fever was the main culprit. What a time for the stupid virus to infect me. Curse IT.
1 month before attachment end and I start to count down the hours before the time to knock off as i was simply being BORED by the job. Stamping tons of documents and guess what! Today I manage to stamp 8 files (They are mainly files of a small system). Made lemonade at work, 5 teaspoon of sugar and 1 big lemon. Yum Yum! Something caught my eye in the pantry today, a glass bottle of Nescafe GOLD was there. The coffee is really taste and smell heavenly as compare to the Nescafe classic. It is also very smooth! Of course it is not the best coffee in the world, but it is 1 of the few best coffee you can drink without having to pay that high price as compare to some exclusive type of coffee. My sister went to Vietnam and bought back 2 bag of coffee (Blue mountain coffee) wonder the coffee seed really grows on blue mountain (Sydney) of some mountain which they just call it Blue.
More things are coming up and I am looking forward to it, Company will be having a dinner at Changi village hotel on 30th July. We will be there directly after work and I think the journey there will be a extreme long one. We are situated at the EXTREME WEST of Singapore and the dinner will be held at the EXTREME EAST. Luckily Nora (the project administrator) manage to help us arrange transportation by allocating seat on our colleagues car, the arrangement also covers the the return journey back to the passenger's home. Initially many people do not wish to turn up as it is really out of place. Furthermore, the dinner will be held on wednessday and thursday will still be another normal working day(can you imagine how the office will be like on the day after the dinner?).
Felt so empty. Trying to arrange alot of activities to keep me busy. Recently fall in love with this old song from the Westlife which they had sang many years ago (long before they started to sing jazz music!). Well, it really say most of the thing which i really want her to know. Feeling so weird when ever i mention that you are now my friend. It feel so weird when we have to adapt the way how we talk. I think i am living in memories but never in reality. Whatever the case is, amanda, the song Queen Of My Heart will be delicated to you!
Queen Of My Heart
So here we stand
In our secret place
With a sound of the crowd
So far away
And you take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong
So how do I say?
Do I say goodbye?
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times
I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart
Queen of my heart
So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again
But no matter how far(Matter how far)
Or where you may be(Where you may be)
I just close my eyes(I just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet
I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart
Queen of my heart
I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart
Oh yeah
You're the
Queen of my heart(Of my heart)
No matter
How many years it takes(Queen of my heart)
I'll give it all to you
Oh yeah(Queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart
My arm will always be wide open, waiting you to come back. Even if the wait will be long, I am willing to wait for you. If you haven't forget that i ever told you that that the feeling for you is alreayd 无可救药 and I haven't find the rememdy for it yet and i do not think it will happen so soon.
it's you and me <3
7:34 AM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Decision was made and it was that we just remain as friend. Well, I really have nothing to say much except that i really hate the ending of this relationship. Well let hope the next one will be a better one (that will kind of difficult) and hope cupid will have the most accurate shot and don't make the relationship like this!
Yesterday chat with my new friend (my ex girlfriend) and ask her a very sensitive question. Sorry girl I didn't really want to disappoint you again but I think I have just done it. It is just too much of coincidence which led me to the very conclusion. Hope you really understand. Sad to hear that you have been staying up very late just to complete your never ending projects and yet have to face project mate like cow cow. Poor girl, learn to take thing easy okay?
Yesterday went for a indian dinner with my colleague. Honestly, i realise that all the indian food taste the same (no offence!) but all the curry taste identical except the meat is totally different. Desert was most memorable. The desert taste so SWEET. It is really sweet that after you take 1 mouth of the desert, you face will shrink by the intense sweetness gushing into your oesophagus.
Dinner was short and hence few of us (Hwee Ching, Kai Xin & her Boyfriend, Stella and ME) went to clarke quay for a walk, enjoy the night scenery before settling at a place (PUB? LOUNGE?) for a drink. I order flaming Lamborghini and it was my very first time. Luckily after 1 short I am still alive and consious. Left Clarke Quay at around 1030 for home. Went home with Hwee Ching as both of us belong to the east. On the journey, we just talk alot till I alight from the bus. We took MRT to Hougang Station to take 27 home.
I am feeling so lost and tired now. My world is turning grey and colours seem to be absent from my world now. Rainbow in my world will only be from my memories. When the god will send me a guardian angel?
it's you and me <3
2:47 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
In the state of confusion, in the state of dilemma. Not knowing what exactly have happen and what should i do.
My grandmother is still in the hospital, in and out in ICU. All her children (my mum and my uncle and my aunty) were now considering to allow her to undergo an operation for her fractured hip-bone (the success rate of the operation will be 50 50). But at the present moment, her pair of lung seem to be the major issues. 2 week ago, she was having big problem with absorbing oxygen to her body as her lung seem to be malfunctioning. Than the big news came. The doctor ask us to make a major decision. Either we let her go peacefully or we insert a tube in her oesophagus(the percentage to getting the tube out is low, meaning that she will not be able to speak if we choose it). The decision was made that we will let her go peacefully if her lungs is not absorbing the oxygen which is introduce into her body at a high pressure through a mask. But when we were about to whisper to her ear on the plan we have made, she was awake, showing lots of hand signs trying to indicate that she is fine. Her condition seem to be better and she ate much for lunch the very next day. As her condition improves, she was able to transfer to another ICU which was for less critical patient and 3 day after that, she is able to transfer to the normal ward. While i was surfing the internet just now, my mum's mobile phone rang, it was a message from my cousin informing my mum that my grandmother condition seem to have deteriorate and will be send back to ICU. What the hell!
060708 was the day i send a message to my girlfriend asking for a breakup. It was sent in a moment of anger after some messages we had exchange previously. The very next day, she ask me whether i really meant what i have message her the night ago. I told her "No" and we started to exchange more messages asking each other for views and opinion on the relationship. I really regret sending the message to ask for a break up and i am really total lost in way to salvage the relationship. I am also clueless on how to cheer her up as she seem to be very "pek chek" when ever i talk to her. Thing is totally different from the past. Thing have change as both of us grow older. The previous relationship with her was totally different from what we have now. I really wish it to be totally different is that i do not want the relationship to end, unlike the previous relationship. Totally confuse! Damn It!
For my attachment, the 3 of us have been transfer from the operation team to the document team, doing something like the job of a document controller. We are in-charge of doing pagination to 2 hundreds over files for the rest of our days in the company. 3 person is able to complete 3 files a day and the target set by the manager is 10 files a day. It seem a easy job, stamping all the documents in the file, separate the documents, fill in the number for the primary and secondary number and start counting the pages in the whole document (sometime the whole document is split into 3 files or more and therefore, you have to count the total of pages for all 3 files) and continue to complete the whole pagination process. The stamp is "Page___ of ___" so you have to fill up the first blank with a running number till the last piece of paper in the last file(s) before filling the same number for the second blank for all the page. Easy job but is really tedious and tiring. Imagine we can only finish 3 file of the same document. hate my job now!
My driving TP will be on wednessday and I am totally not confident in passing it. Yet I do not want to do another TP before passing it. I want first time pass but the chance of it to happen seem low. Hope the next 3 hour of driving practise can help me to pull through my test. Bless ME!
This week seem busy for me. Tuesday i had dinner with the PFW group for a farewell dinner for one of the fellow technician who is leaving the company. We wanted to go to the hawker centre at Alexandra road, near to IKEA shopping centre for dinner. BUT, the disappointment seem to have injected into our blood stream the very moment we saw the store close. Because of it, we went to anchor point for dinner. It was kind of posh restaurant. It is call "Zhou's Kitchen" and was part of the Tung Luk group. We ordered dishes such as chili crab, Peking duck, chili sweet potato leaves, steam sea bass and few more dishes. The dinner was great and had lot of fun during dinner.
As for wednessday, i had tuition class for my cousin. Really afraid that i do not have enough time for her to practise much for both physic and chemistry as she is weak in both subject. Really wish her that she will put in more effort in studying instead of playing.
Thursday i had dinner with part of the marshmallow group. Sheng long have rented a car and it was really honoured that he is willing to bring us out for dinner as he can actually just bring his girlfriend out only. Thank Bro! We ate claypot rice at geylang and after the dinner, we wonder the geylang streets like a detective, trying to admire all the ladies standing on the road side. Sadly, no one approaches us. After roam the streets, we went to ate Durian! Durian season have arrive and the price of durian seem to have drop! Great News!
Friday was the boring day. I went home after work just for driving. Its friday and i can't go out. Freak!
On wednessday, my father fetch me home from my aunt place after tuition. On the way home, he mention that he knew that i am doing something behind his back. At that very moment, i was shock, squeezing my hand into my bag, trying to make sure my cigarette box is not being exposed. I am not sure what he have knew and he really sound so serious. Honestly, after so many thing have happen to me, how am i able to cut down smoking? I know is determination but everytime i try to quit, things start to happen and more and more trouble start to appear. And this habit have make a very big hole in my pocket. Damn it! Almost 40 dollar spend on cigarette a week. Now i am really a poor boy!
it's you and me <3
11:00 PM
