Friday, May 30, 2008
One night have pass and have not receive any message from her despite sending her a few. Waited for her message/call till 3:30am before giving up and went to sleep. Angry? Disappointed? Can't be bother? Or just busy to reply me? I really do not know what is she feeling/ doing now.
Just have the feeling of staying at home, sit in a corner of my room and stare at the wall. Not another day to face so many stranger, letting so many people to stare and point at me. Not another day that i have have to work. But too late to take MC and too late to find replacement to cover for me.
3-11 seem like a stupid shift. Until 10pm, the shopping centre seem empty and those left are those people who are browsing the shops, irritating the sales person. Lucky today have one of my colleague whom i am kind of close with accompanying me to work till 10pm.
Tomorrow will be another day of work and worst was that i have to work on Monday. Therefore, i can conclude that this week will be a day without any rest but just lots of trouble.
God, Can't you help me? Sick of my life now! I really need someone to listen to my problem and trouble. But when am i able to do it?
it's you and me <3
9:58 PM
Finally weekend is just hours away. Today is Friday and few thing happen to me today. Still continue to feel sick and restless. Felt kind of giddy and had the floating feel which was extremely discomfortable. My office have a practise which they will celebrate all the staff birthday for every specific month and today it was a celebration for baby born in May. 4 people from my office is born in May and cheers to the Gemini baby. 2 big cake without candles was in front of us, tempting me from every angle i look at it. As usual after the birthday song, we cut the cake. Cake and card is the thing that i always look forward during my birthday.
8am i step into the office, after safety roll out, birthday celebration and breakfast it was already 9:45am. When out to smoke with my smoking partner and called my girlfriend. She was moody since in the morning. The conversation got worst as we start to misunderstood each other. For all i know was that my tone change. My mood change as well and lucky nothing irritate me today.
Was helping my mentor to check some information from a very thick files. She ask me to start than she repeat again. And i started to read very fast and goes from 1 equipment to another. From than on, she did not really ask me to do much thing as she knows that my mood was kind of terrible as i started to shout whenever i was being hit by some instruments that was protruding, getting in my way and any equipment which is not very cooperative with me. Poor mentor of mine, having to listen to vulgarity the whole day long. Sorry.
The day just pass quickly and soon it was 430 and everyone was leaving the company. Guess what? Today is friday and i was having a going home late mood, guess which route i took after i left the company gate? I took the bus to Jurong East to take the train home. Yes is HOME as everyone seem busy and blame on me as i was too last minute. Now rotting at home doing nothing, staring at the computer and the screen stare at me too.
Tomorrow i am going to work again and hope my mood will improve before i start to piss my colleague off again. But most importantly, i really wish that the misunderstanding between me and my girlfriend can be ressolve. Hate the feeling when there is any misunderstanding and especially it involve your love one. Few of my collegue ask me why i was moody and i told them what had happen. After listening to what they advise me, i just start to wonder whether what i have done was right?
Guess what i really wish now? My wish now it to hear my girlfriend voice and to chat with her.
it's you and me <3
5:04 AM
Thursday, May 29, 2008
1 more day to friday and the word TGIF (Thank God Is Friday) will be out from my mouth. This week was relax as currently no test is being carried out for the reactor i am attached to. What make it even more relax/slack was that my mentor (the person who i am attached to ) is on medical leave. Therefore, yesterday was kind of waste of time and i felt lonely, walking in the plant alone, facing big machine, making you feel so dwarf.
As i was very free, i went to help another colleague to carry out minor test after i finish line tracing. While helping him, a question just pop into my brain and that question was kind of tough as a few engineer could not answer while the rest have an answer which i do not understand. This show how little we learn in poly.
Today my mentor was back and thing resume normal except the fact that she was on medication, drowsy medication in exact. This made her feel sleepy and this gave me an excuse to slack at 1 of the most isolated corner in the plant. Wasted almost 5 hours there, doing simple paper work and chatted for the rest of the time.
Left my office early as i do not want to miss my bus to Chua Chu Kang MRT station as i was meeting my girlfriend at Ang Mo Kio at around 6pm. I was so early that i was 5 minute before 5pm and so i went to the smoking corner and ... . Slept on the bus as i was not really feeling very well and very soon i reached Chua Chu Kang. Board the train which came 4 mins after i reach the train platform. Halfway the journey, i receive a message from my girlfriend telling me that she will not be able to meet me today. I was kind of piss as i do not really like people to make last minute cancellation of meetings. Miss call her and soon she call back. The conversation was short as my mood was not in a very pleasant one and the whole conversation was why she was not able to make it. After the conversation, things seem to bad for me.
Alight at woodland to take 161 and when i reach the stupid interchange, 161 was about to leave and therefore i ran to toward the bus. Almost trip as the floor was very wet as it was raining and by the time i reach the door, the bus just drove away. FUCK! And so i have to wait for the next bus, ENJOYING the rain which was being blown into the interchange by the wind. Can't imagine that a underground interchange have such a bad design. Call her when i was on the way home, ask her out (as usual) and got the answer (as usual). I was not really happy with her answer but after awhile i was okay with it as she is very busy with her school work recently so i was not affected after all. The rain stop when the bus was at Yishun and started to rain again when it reaches near Seng Kang. I was simply not in the mood to walk home, getting myself drench despite the fact that i kind of love it. Took a cab back home, 1 bus stop and it cost me $3.60. Easy money for the cabby. Yes! my head was not wet but my shoe was totally soak as i step into a puddle of water wen i alight the cab!
And after all this incident, i really need someone (especially my girlfriend) to pacify me. It have been a long time since someone pacify me.
it's you and me <3
5:23 AM
Monday, May 26, 2008
It have been a long time since i blog and finally, i am free to blog! Finish my interim report and submitted back to school. Really have to thank my dear dear for giving me so much motivation and Apolinar (my colleague) who have help me with some part of my report, in such a way that i am able to finish my report fast.
Finally i am 19 years old and this year is really the best birthday i have so far as many of my wishes seem to have fulfil. This is my very first birthday spend with my dear. I have been with her for the third time and this is the first time we celebrate together as boyfriend and girlfriend. And guess what? We have been together for almost 11 month and this is my longest and most fulfilling relationship which i really wish that it will really improve and till the very day that my dear will be my wife and my soul mate.
Met my girlfriend for 5 times and stay over night at her house on Friday night. My another wish which was fulfil was be able to spend a night with my girlfriend (not about SEX). I think i have mention before in my previous post that just by having your love one in your arm and enjoy the scent from her hair, her warmth and even her breath seem like a tune to you. That is what i call romantic.
Saturday I was suppose to go to Pulau Ubin to cycle with her but we decided not to go as we all are simply too tired as we did not catch much sleep. So we simply spend the whole day on bed, disturbing each other to prevent each other from falling a sleep. Left her home at around 530 and reach home to rush my stupid project. Chat with her before i went to sleep.
The very next day, i was back to her house again. Rushing for my project to meet my deadline. She was there beside me, rushing her own project too. Whenever we are too tired, we just seat down and have each other in each other arm again. HAPPY! Gosh it seem like i am easily satisfy.
Before i leave her place for home, she pass me my present and a birthday card. Really love the card as it was hand made by her. Thank dear. She draw the little boy from precious moment on both side of the paper. It was beautiful and every time i take out and admire, i will simply just smile.
Today met her after work again. However today the time we spend seem short as the journey to her home was short. But no matter what, i still get to met her and enjoy her accompany.
Dear Love You!
it's you and me <3
5:14 AM
Friday, May 16, 2008
What a GOOD morning to start my long weekend with. Argue with my girlfriend in the morning then i started to quarrel with my mum, dad and even my sister. It seem like i am going to quarrel with everyone around me so please either get lost or don't bother with what i said.
To all the customer who is going to see me,
Please make your purchase fast and do not be so greedy, asking for millions of samples for your small fucking face. If you want to be a long winded bitch, than please do not find me as i am very sure that i am going to give you a terrible attitude which is going to piss you off.
I just wonder, will i get the same attitude, you gave me in the morning, everytime i care for you?
Fuck!
it's you and me <3
8:56 PM
Guess what? Rice price went all the way up to $21 which was previously $13 only. The supermarket is really extorting money from the consumers. Won't be surprise to find Singaporeans rushing to supermarkets and get as many packet of rice as they can purchase than start to struggle to bring it home. Everyday the price increase and therefore, getting the rice earlier will have a better savings and sense of security. My family went to Giant supermarket to buy 3 packet of rice and what surprise me was not how many packet of rice they have bought but the price of the rice.
From the point of a member of a middle income family, the standard of living is really forcing us to the limit in maximising every dollar, reducing all the enjoyment and encourage us to migrate. It really time for us to consider a country. I just wonder, how does a low income family cope with such a high standard living condition. Giving cash rebates, discount from supermarket is definitely not going to help, think of long term, why not just reduce the tax for the import of food product and lighten the stress which had worsen day by day.
it's you and me <3
7:45 AM
Friday, May 9, 2008
The time now is 3:02 am, 10 May 2008, and now i am at Samantha house. The overnight event was being planned for the sake of all the mahjong addicts which simply can't live without their hand touching the mahjong tiles.
Sheng Long (previously known as JINX!) drove his rented Hyundai Matrix to Sam house after his meeting with his friend. This is really the first time i saw him driving and was kind of scared when i seat on his car. It was not because that i do not trust his driving, but his way of holding the steering wheel scared me till i almost want to alight the car. 1 hand controlling the steering wheel while the other hand was supporting his head. My father, an experience driver, did not even dare to do this especially travelling on an unfamiliar road. But what ever it is, i am back at Sam's house after going to Geylang for durian and Loyang Tua Pek Kong for praying. Thanks Pal.
Kind of tired now but as usual, i am unable to sleep. Think that i am going to be awake the whole night till the very next morning. Go back home, bath and i will be off to my dreamland.
Have a short chat with my girlfriend early today and felt relieve as her mood seem to improve; from her very down mood to a much pleasant mood now. Sometime i just feel that our relationship seem to be like a small boat. Easily affected by many factors, facing many challenges and progressing slowly. However i am comfortable with it, definitely not comfortable with all the arguement and disagreement but just love the feeling when we are together, love the slow progress of our relationship, love her companion.
Dear, i know that sometime you feel that we do not understand each other needs, feelings and thoughts. I know that time is no longer the factor of this problem and the problem really lies with us. Something i really have to point out, our mood swings seem to get from bad to worst and everytime when we look at the problem with our not so pleasant mood, all the negative thoughts seem to appear in our mind. And everytime we talk about the problem, we tend to act to forget the issues and conitnue with our daily lives. Dear can we talk about our problem instead of trying to push it one side. I know i love to do it but i have realise that it is totally unhealthy for our relationship. So whenever we have a problem, we look it when our mood is more pleasant and we will talk about the problem okay?
it's you and me <3
12:01 PM
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
My colleague, a Burmese, went back Myanmar on on 1st of May, 2 day before the cyclone which struck Myanmar in surprise occurs. Read the news on the cyclone which have hit Yangon the worst, killed more than 22,000 people and left 40,000 others missing. It really worries me. My colleague hometown is in Yangon and this mean that he will definitely be there when the cyclone hit Yangon.
Knowing how bad the current situation in Myanmar is, it set me wondering. Why am i worried over small problem (comparing to such a situation) when there is more thing to be worried about. Few of my colleague and I was worried about my Burmese colleague who was unable to be contacted despite many attempt to get through his mobile line. As day goes, situation in Myanmar seem to get worst as aid was not being able to be send to Myanmar as visa was not being able to issue fast enough.
Is there still a need for a visa to send aid to the country when the country is in a bad situation with many life at stake? I really support the French foreign minister on his decision on asking U.N. to force Myanmar to receive the aid. Feeling sad for all the citizen there and Burmese who are in different part of the world as many life were being lost, many children are becoming orphan and many parent witnessing their children to die in front of them. Can't the government be flexible with all this rules?
Dear God,
Please bless those Burmese who are missing, injured, alive to pull through this catastrophe safety. Please bless those Burmese who are dead with a more fortunate life in their next life. And hope that you can bring my colleague and my family safety back on a dry land or even better, back to Singapore.
Thank You
it's you and me <3
6:29 AM
Today was tiring, other than cleaning the reactor hall, solvent and process manifolds for the arrival of one very important staff from the company HQ in New Jersey. However, the worst was trying not to let my personal feeling affect my work as i realise that this industrial attachment grade is going to have a very big effect to my accumulative GPA which i am trying to maintain/ improve in order to go into Chemical Engineering in NUS (heard that their cut off point for C.E.is 3.80).
I am really useless in giving surprises as it always turn out to be disaster instead of a happy ending. Sometime i just feel that i should not even try to give any surprise to anyone. Yesterday, I met my girlfriend after her lesson to send her home. As usual, she will not want me to alight with her as she want me to take the bus home (the bus passes my house too). Though of giving her a surprise by alighting the bus shortly after she alight in order not to let her know that i am alighting the same bus stop as she does.
Carried out the plan and it was almost perfect as she was walking straight without realising that i am right behind her. But the disaster came straight after i pat on her shoulder. Because of the pat, she missed a step and fell. She fell on her knee and the worst thing was that her Laptop was being slam on to the floor. At that instant, i was shocked, worried and started to regret. Ask her whether she was hurt while i was helping her up and trying to pick her laptop up. She was so angry that she do not want me to send her home from the bus-stop to her home.
Another thing which made her angry was i send her a message which was suppose to be send to her friend (My dear used it to contact me as her hp battery was flat).
Read her blog during lunch which have totally spoilt my appetite after realising that she still doubt about me and she think that all the upset i have caused was a way to redeem what she have owe me in the previous life.
Trust me, when you read such a paragrph, you will really feel like...... I really do not how to say. My day was spoilt, my mood was dampen
it's you and me <3
5:47 AM
Saturday, May 3, 2008
My life seem to be affected by my attachment. Sleeping till afternoon seem almost impossible as I will just wake up before 11. Yes ELEVEN! 2 hours earlier than my normal timing.
Yesterday chat with my dear was kind of unusual. By eleven, i was already on bed, waiting for my dear to call. I was kind of tired so i decided to take a short nap while waiting for my girlfriend to call me. Afraid that i can't hear my handphone ring tone, I just place my handphone right beside me.
At the very next instant, I realise that i was already chatting with my girlfriend. Chatting in my sleep and talking rubbish (to her!). All i remember that i was talking about reactors, agitators, OCT and other more test. She was totally irritated with all this rubbish i have mumbled with my sleeping brain. She was pissed off by the time i start to regain my conscious. Started to talk normally before she gave up talking to a half asleep person. I was so embarrassed, chatting while sleeping. Worst was that the person whom i mumbled to is my girlfriend. Sorry dear!
Told my father about what happen and he started laughing. He mentioned that i was kind of stress up at work which result to what i have mumbled in my unconscious state. Not so sure whether what he say was true but i guess i will just have to believe it.
Finally i finish my presentation. Wasted 1 hour in my room trying to finalise it. Weather was so hot that i have to switch on the air con for almost a day just to escape from the torturous heat.
Tomorrow will be working in town again. Hope the sales will be good and the target will be low. Most importantly the staff there are nice. Have not work in Takashimaya before and tomorrow will be my very first time there. Since tomorrow i am on the afternoon shif, it means that i can sleep slightly late and wake up slightly late tmorrow.
And after tomorrow, it will be the end of weekend. This week my driving instructor will be back and i will continue by lesson. If i am not wrong, the week after next will be a better week as i suppose that there will be a marshmallow meeting. This time the organizer will still be Phoebe Jie as she is the most experience (in age!) and the most busy (busy in finding way on how to spend her time!). So all the best to Phoebe. Something i really must mention about her. She is very efficient in planning. Our K-box, camping, dinner meet up and many more was all plan by her.
One of my classmate have book a room in 1929 hotel (press on the link to visit the hotel website to know more about it
http://www.hotel1929.com/). Read about the hotel quite sometime ago. It a hotel which brought art into every corner of the hotel premises. The art pieces and the antique pieces seem to be alive and very aggressive. Able to capture attention from everyone. Even when the camera just pan across the room, you simply wish to record the whole footage and play it over and over just to look closely on every piece of art present in the hotel. The place was featured in many magazine and was introduce by a few TV programme. Best of all my classmate is spending a night with her boyfriend there. Kind of expensive but it is really once in a life time experience, staying in one of the coolest hotel in Singapore with your close friend/ boy/girl friend. Please do not think so much, staying in a hotel is not always for having SEXUAL ACTIVITY it is simply just for the experience.
Talking about staying overnight together, i just remembered that i did not stay overnight with my girlfriend before. How nice will it be, staying together for A (more also can!) night, resting together and enjoying every moment together with no one disturbing you. It sound simply cool! (As i mention earlier, my idea is spend night together, not for S*X! So do not think that far)
Anyway, if you are reading my blog, this show that you are very free. Since you are free, help me ask around for the best duck porridge serve in Singapore. If you have the image it will even be better. At least i can post it on my blog and tempt someone. If someone cannot tolerate her craving anymore because of the picture, YOU will be rewarded. (provided she meet me to eat the porridge!)
it's you and me <3
4:47 AM
Friday, May 2, 2008
Finally weekend is here. Saturday will be for me to rest and Sunday will be the day for me to earn money! Sad that labour day falls on Thursday and not on other day. Have not meet my girlfriend for sometime. Hope Monday we will be able to meet as i really find that days without her are torturous. Think i am really truly, madly, deeply in love with her.
Working today seem to be demoralising. As auditing of the plant will be carried out next week and today there isn't many technician working today, the 3 attachment student become the plant cleaner. Simply but tiring job, picking up debris in the plant.
Realise that i will be turning 19 soon. Time seem to fly after 16 years old. Think i have not been enjoying my life to the fullest for the past 3 years. Miss those days in secondary school, doing things that you are really interested in, short schooling hours. It seem long i held a camera, shooting with a purpose. How long since i ever film and edited a video? From a technology person to country pumpkin.
Another day i am looking forward to is 29th June. Our 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend, Our longest relationship. I am not just looking forward to 29/06/2008, i am looking forward for 29th June for every year, having her with me till our very last breath!
Went to Kovan to buy Selegie Tou Hua and Geylang for durian. Having the craving for durian for quite sometime. Finally able to satisfy my craving, my mood seem to have improve.
Read phoebe's blog. Felt very disgusted as all the baby word seem to appear here and there. Seem like their relationship is diabetic. I realise that Sheng Long and I have some point which is similar. We seem to keep everything in our heart and will only speak it out when we were prompt to.
To some people, they will find it weird when i mention that i kept everything to myself. To them, i am like optimistic and out going person. But in actual fact, I am a pessimistic person and i like to keep most of the things/ emmotion to myself. There are more thing which you have not know yet :)
it's you and me <3
7:07 AM
