Wednesday, March 26, 2008
hmm.. it like 2 week since we met... hmm just waiting anxiously for the next meeting.... attachment drew us apart.... sometime i just don't feel any warm from you at all.. yet sometime.. i feel that you are still caring for me.... my feeling and senses always contradict to what i am thinking.....
don't want to feel stress now... getting weaker and weaker..... both physically and emotionally... yesterday was a very bad day... vomited in office... and start to have headache after i reach home.... started vomiting when i reach home and went to clinic at around 12 plus during the night.... 80 dollars spend yesterday.... what a great start to my payday!
receive a message from my girlfriend when i was at my aunt house... asking me out.... i was simply over the moon as finally i can meet her.... but after several round of messaging, she decided to postpone the meeting to next week....
next week..... i am just kind of scared.... wondering how she define her next week... and what will it be? after decided on a date... is she going to postpone it again....
tired of attachment... tired of life.... how i wish i just can be alone.... alone in a no-man land... BE FREE..... do what i want to do and don't have to bother about how people feel and how people think of me.....
it's you and me <3
4:31 AM
Friday, March 21, 2008
finally awake from my good sleep... (well.. that was what i wanted to say 2 hr before i started to type this post!) haven been sleeping well this few day... 3 night of sleep total up to like less that 8 hours... haha cant imagine how i have manage to survive my last 3 day working.. 2 hours of sleep on mon night... about 1 hr on the next night.. than another 2 hour plus for the 3rd night... than on thursday night... haha sleep very late cause having supper with my aunt... haha sleep at 7am.. waking up at 11am.. haha well.. dieing soon hor... muhaha... that what i feel too... but luckily yesterday sleep was the best... 10 hours of sleep... beautiful sleep... except waking up a couple time to go toilet... muhaha
thursday was bad.... went to teach my cousin chemistry... while was on the way... receive a msg from my sis.. "shit! caused someone car to bang another car!" at that instant... i was panic... i thought she was involve in it... but after several round of msg and questioning.... i was dam relieve lar.. cause my sis was not involve lar... but she say she dun dare to drive back home... so i suggested to her that me will meet her after the tuition ends lar... i though of taking cab go cause dun want to bother my aunt... but she actually fetch me go to my sis school and than tailgate us home.... so i suggested to go for supper lar... waited for about 30 minute my dad came back home from work... after slacking a while... we are on the road again... to bedok to eat the mince pork noodle.. haha ordered alot of side dishes lar.. haha so we eat till we cant take in any more food than we left the place haha....
yesterday ... after work... went to la pa sat to eat.. haha another day of supper... muhaha putting on alot of weight this few day... haha... but did something which i dun think C.R. can take it... i am not very sure whether it was the thing i did which make him very queit that day .... or other things lar... but after the great supper... i went home... haha lucky that the night bus got stop near my house... haha cause from the bus directory i neber come across the bus stop which i had alight yesterday lar... haha so i planned to alight at another busstop than take cab home... haha but luckily it save me alot lar.. haha
wel.. today not working... so slacking at home .... tml another day of working... hmm well.. happy or sad.. haha depend on my mood tml bah....
hope thing will get smoother for me... but the first thing i should do is to control myself.... haiz... and that will be very tough... and all i have to do is.... REN!
it's you and me <3
11:30 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
Spare a though for me....! I BEG U!
it's you and me <3
4:15 AM
Monday, March 10, 2008
haha finally the second week of attachment liao ... hurray... another 23 more weeks jiu over liao... so happi...
well.. today did something cool.. haha start of my mystery project.. haha not really something big.. haha but something which i realli wanted to do for very long time liao .. haha so not bad lar... haha
today was kind of slow at work... haha so tired today... cant even open my eye to do things lar... the word sleep just keep on appearing in my brain haha...
so sian now lar... haiz...
it's you and me <3
5:14 AM
Saturday, March 8, 2008
What a day... noting to do .... a really fuck up weekend indeed.... i have cancel work for today last month as i though can go out with my dear to meet up... haiz.. but she is not free... so sadly me at home the whole day .... doing noting.. just waiting for my time to pass... just like a dieing man waiting for his death like that ...
my fucking computer is realli pissing me off... this time have to switch on and off this com several time inorder for me to get into the internet.... normal day not like that de lor... when i am down lon luck jiu like that .... haiz....
since i realli have notin to do ... came online thought can do something or read up on things... but the fucking problem is that when i switch on the comp... my mind went blank lar... because realli dunnoe which website to go and what to readup on....
since i have notin to do .. so i have decided to create blog entry lor..
well... so sian so sian lar... WTF.... haiz...
I JUST WANT TO GO OUT!.... haiz.. regret not going for my secondary school alumni dinner lar... haiz... just because is saturday.... haiz... regret regret.... regret canceling so many thing and in the end... getting myself stuck at home rotting......
FUCK!!
it's you and me <3
4:27 AM
Friday, March 7, 2008
finally weekend have arrive... not a very good weekend today ... parent were argueing/quarelling,,, and the worst thing is that... they are argueing over small things.. haiz... that the problem wat the problem with 2 of them?!
think that my mum is realli spoilt by my dad... helping her do so much thing.. and at any slight mistake.. there will be alot of nagging from mum... yet at anytime... when ever my mum do something for my father... he dunno... so the thing is that my father say my mum noe only how to nag.. whereas my mum is saying my father reasonable... Honestly i dun blame either party...
their arguement is making me crazy soon... luckily they have stop argueing... haha.. my father and my mum cool down.... but still at their danger level lar... haiz... so pray hard there wun be any friction between them,... at least they wun argue again right... haiz..... PEK CHEK AR!
really not much time to think of their problem when i seem like have alot of problem myself... yesterday finally can chat with my dear.... and yet... i was the one who later do not want to chat... kind of blame myself... blaming myself for being so tired... missing out a chance to speak to my dear.... and yet i am the one who keep on say why my dar dun want to chat with me...HAIZ... sometime i think i am realli a fucker... haiz...
chat with phoebe on thursday... pouring my trouble and stress to her cause my dear is not available.... trouble i have which no one really seem to noe was so much till it was realli unbreable... so manything seem to be hapening and yet i am thinking even more.... feeling so trouble till i am unable to take it soon... i could only say... happy go lucky charecter will just be my past... and now is just a mask... a mask to hide my stress, trouble self just to keep ppl happy and please....
when u are unlucky ... everything seem not to be on good term with you... my router seem to be getting on my nerve... it's signal is not captured by my com receiver and cause alot of disruption when i am using the com...
it's you and me <3
10:28 PM
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
what a day,... wake up earli in the morning... and back at home 13 hour after i wake up... cant imagine the 5 hour slp everynight can last till how long... have been cutting down on my part time job as soon as my attachment started....
slacking the whole day... listening to my colleague toking.. walk the whole plan up and down for more than 5 time... worst thing is that you can take the lift up.. but not the lift down.. as they say this is the way to increase the life span of the lift... haha okay...
but not a bad place to work at.. haha learn alot of thing this few day... ppl there are nice... helping you with any trouble you have, sharing what they have with you... haha and best of all answering all my stupid question.. some of them are so educational.. haha asking chemistry question... just because we are chemical technicial.. so he think we all will noe.. haha but not bad ...dam fun lar...
the team i am attach to have 5 ppl.. including me.. excluding the lead engineer.. haha really multi racial, multi religion lar.. and we are happily bonded... muhaha... eating snake together, influencing each other.. haha 7+ more week and me will be attached to anther group than .. haha
but no matter how good the day is... thing got back since i left the workplace.. i was caught in the rain... even the last few step before i reach my home the rain become so heavy that i am totaly wet... and worst feeling feverish... yesterday have slight cough.. and today fever... haiz.. my as well die lar...
everyday after work, i always have my handphone with me waiting for my dear msg... and everyday it is always a dissapointment ... hmm it seem that i am the one initiating the msg... msg you about the rain and asking you to take care seem like not a msg to you .... but it seem like some irritating words right? tell me what is pleasant in your eye??? sometime i am thinking... u r the one who say if i dun realli stick to you... u will be close to me... and no matter what i do... it does not seem to work... u might say i am irritating to tell u such thing.. cause everytime i say it out you seem so pissed... sometime i feel that asking u to be close to me seem like so difficult... why not u tell me the precise way...
it's you and me <3
3:26 AM
